Have you been screwed up by a person you called friend? I was!
I knew this person in an un-conventional way, through chatting in the internet, and we clicked in an instant. We were oceans apart but our friendship flourished by exchanging emails, text messages and phone calls. I met her for the first time when she flew to Manila to send off her husband, then fiancee. The next meeting was quite brief as I had to met her at the domestic airport before she flew home to her province after sending off her husband again. We have been friends for more than three years but I felt, its been more than that. We were just soo close to each other and share a deep connection. We even called each other sis.
Early last year, she went to Manila for a training in care giving. I was one of those people she get in touched with right away. I was happy to know for it will be an opportunity for us to hang out with each other often. And yes, we did spend time together malling, watching movies, shopping, eating-out. She even slept-over at my place and sometimes just dropped by the office to have a quick lunches or snacks with me. I took her to my aunt's birthday celebration and she just mixed in right away.
Then, this screw-you mess happened. She asked me if I could lend her money that she needed for her training. That time, I had no available fund so I asked my officemate to lend me the money with interest. I am sort of my friend's guarantor. The so called friend promised to pay the money back topped with interest three days after. The transaction went smoothly.
Three days later, I didn't received any text messages or phone calls from her but still I've waited until the next day to touch base with her. I was able to reached her and she gave me reasons why she can't meet me, blah blah. Okay, I just pleaded with my officemate to hang on a little longer for the payment. No problem with her. A week, two weeks, three weeks had passed and still no sign of money coming in. And finally the bombshell, she just stopped keeping in touch with me.
I was lost. I was in denial that she couldn't do it to me. I trusted her sooo much. I still hung on to her words.
But a part of me dictates that I should accept that sh*t happens. And I was really in deep dung.
I went into great length in chasing her, emailing her sister, sending snail mail, etc. Only then I found out that I was betrayed by my so called dear friend. It turned out that it wasn't actually her who needed the money but another friend and all the reasons that she concocted why she can't give the money back were all big fat lies. Her friend dropped me a line and promised to pay but you know the end of it... (sigh).
I end up paying the money myself. My consolation, if you can call it that was, my officemate didn't charged interest at all.
Learning and facing all those load of craps literally shattered my world. It's not the money, though, it was big enough to send me to a shoe-shopping and sightseeing in Hongkong. I feel bad about myself for letting it happen, for trusting so much, for being a good and blind friend. I really didn't see a signal or warning light coming or was there any? I wanted to say to myself, "tanga ka kase" but I really didn't. A friend whom I shared the event told me, "you're just quick to judge the character of a person and simply gave out your trust without doubts or questions". Yes, I am that! I always believe that we are all good in nature. And simply I am just a loyal friend.
Lesson learned? Don't be so trusting errr... know the person well before giving out your trust. But if you would ask me if I will still do the same to a friend, the answer would be a big YES but not to the same friend, of course. I haven't come into terms if she still belongs to my list of friends. But at the back of my mind there is this little thought of panghihinayang for a good and cherished relationship that was tinted by a very superficial cause, a material cause. I really didn't expect that money could end our good relationship. But for me, it's not the money (you can find it as long as you're alive) but it's the betrayal. With the sting, I am a pretender if I will deny that sometimes, I wish bad karma will strike them. Just sometimes!
And yet, I am still the ever-trusting me!
I have doubts of writing this post as it seems trivial and silly but it is now close to one year. A happy anniversary and I was reminded! :D Sometimes I am still hoping that one day, I can just see the figure in my bank account. Hope dies last, you know!